5 Major Red Flags to Look Out for Before Ever Hiring a Coach
I won't sugar coat it for you. Some of the coaching industry is downright predatorial. Coaches who circle around leads like vultures and manipulate people in the name of profit over people. *barf*
For an art and practice that is truly sacred to me, I find it utterly unacceptable the way that some people look at their coaching business. As coaches, we are here to heal, help, and serve. Not exploit where you're at or use our teachings against you in the name of a quick buck.
The only two things that you REALLY need to run a deeply purposeful and massively profitable business are a deep sense of purpose and a healthy money mindset. Best part? These both come from within YOU. And you have it completely within your power to cultivate them.
I say it over and over. You don't need ANYTHING to run the business and live the life of your dreams. No program, course, strategy, coach, or I will save you. It all comes from within.
What coaching can help you with is creating the space to make this easier to do. Or being around the energy of badass rockstar women who encourage and support you to continue your soul journey. Creating communities that celebrate your wins and feel your losses but ALWAYS believe in you. It's a booster; not the whole enchilada.
Recently The Universe has brought me into contact with a number of women who had terrible experiences with other coaches. Whether paid or on the discovery call, these coaches essentially used these beautiful souls' current struggles and insecurities as weapons against them all in the name of putting profit over people.
And I couldn't listen to another story of a coach exploiting the relationship between coach and client without saying something.
I literally told Jeramia (my wonderful fiance) that I have to go live on this right now or I'm going to scream. And even though the live kept disconnecting on me, I had to keep going until the message fully emerged.
If you've felt exploited by another coach, please know that I am deeply sorry for your experience and I am 100% in your corner. Your soul journey is a sacred experience and should ALWAYS be honored and never exploited.
In this IG live replay, I cover 4 major red flags to look out for before EVER investing in a coach or program (or really any service provider) and why knowing these will help you avoid the predatorial part of the coaching industry. They're also listed out completely below with one bonus I forgot to mention in the video!
Give this a watch, because it's a MUST if you've ever left a discovery call feeling manipulated or ever hopped into a program and instantly felt like you weren't special anymore. Or if you're just looking for a coaching relationship and want to avoid the vultures.
You'll be much more equipped to avoid the predatorial part of the coaching industry so that you can find your HELL YES coach and leave everything else behind.
One | They Aren't Service Focused
As a coach, I am honored that I get to be a part of people's soul journeys. Yes, I specialize in entrepreneurship. But building a business that's deeply purposeful isn't just about making tons of money and being your own boss. You're living out your life purpose.
The relationship between coach and client is a sacred one. And even more importantly, the relationship ISN'T about the coach. Whenever my clients ask me how I'm doing, I tell them that I'm wonderful. Not to be inauthentic. I'm absolutely thrilled to be there talking with them. But also because whatever additional things that are happening internally for me aren't they're responsibility. We are there on that call to discuss your experience. It's one of the few relationships where it's supposed to be all about you!
I am here to be of deep service because coaching people along their soul journey is my life purpose. Working with coaches who are service focused helps weed out the people who are only there for themselves and not there for you. You should only ever become more special to coach as you continue your relationship together!
Two | They're Manipulative
I think we've all been there. Hop on for a free 30-minute clarity call or coaching session...get pitched 29 minutes and 30 seconds of the call. I had someone tell me that she was on a free coaching call where the entire call was about the many ways that she could give the coach money.
I don't have to tell you how gross this feels. If it's a free coaching call, the call should be focused on coaching for the client. If it's a discovery call that's inquiring about your services, it should still be a conversation.
Coaches who are manipulative (a) aren't service based and (b) don't have a healthy money mindset. If you truly believe that money is ever abundant and that you are always surrounded and supported by money, you don't have to manipulate or convince people to give you money.
The payment in the coaching relationship is there to serve as part of the equal energetic exchange. It's not something that should be "over-come." Because clients should feel a HELL YES within them to book with you. They need to self-select in. Firstly, to make sure that they're totally ready and will make the most of it. Secondly, if someone feels manipulated into the relationship, they'll resent you down the line. That's just bad business practice AND bad karma. And I'm not about either.
That's why I never try to convince, manipulate, or overcome objections. Yes, if someone tells me that finances are the reason they can't work with me even though they would love to, I might offer a discount on the first payment or something else. But only from a place of love to ease the point of entry. Never to manipulate.
Good coaches always act from a place of love and not fear. And if they're manipulating you into the relationship, they're taking your power away from you and saying they don't believe you can make decisions for yourself.
You deserve a coach who ALWAYS believes in you.
Three | They Use Their Teachings or Your Experience as a Weapon
This is the one that makes me absolutely LIVID. When coaches say "oh you not being able to afford it right now is because of your lack mindset." Or when they use your insecurities and struggles as a weapon against you to further manipulate you into handing them money.
Fucking.Bullshit. It's soul malpractice and I'm completely unavailable for it.
If you tell a coach "I can't afford your program" and they say that's because of your lack mindset THEY are the one with the lack mindset. 90% of the time, if a person says they can't afford something, it's not the money. If it's something that people are truly ready for, they find a way. But the money is usually the most surface-level reason and sometimes people don't know why it doesn't feel like the right fit.
Again, if that coach had a healthy money mindset, the wouldn't have to use it as a weapon against you. And they wouldn't take it personally because they would trust that new opportunities are always coming around the corner. Ironically, that type of behavior IS reflective of a scarcity mindset. And you don't want to work with someone on your money mindset who can't even identify that.
Additionally, don't feel like you have to give into FOMO tactics. When you're looking for a coach, it's an emotional experience. You're looking for clarity, guidance, and support. And there are (unfortunately) people out there who exploit your vulnerability.
If someone is using marketing/messaging that aligns with you HAVE to sign up with them or if you don't, things will crash and burn, feel free to step away from that situation.
Remember, YOU already have everything within you to manifest all of your desires and live the life of your dreams. As a coach, I simply create space for you to let out the badass within you more and more.
If a coach is saying that if you don't buy their shit, you'll fail, they're saying they don't believe in you. And like I said before (and I'll say it 'til the day I die!), you deserve to be surrounded by people who believe in you, celebrate you, and love you.
Your coach should ALWAYS build you up (even if it's a bit of tough love). But never tear you down from a manipulative or exploitative nature.
Four | They Only Talk About Money
I get it. Sell them what they want, give them what they need. In my signature money mindset program Cash Flow Clarity, it's sold as a money mindset program. But we only talk about money about 10%-15% of the time. Because healing your money relationship comes more from a place of worth, faith, belief, and more than just sales tactics, etc.
So much of the coaching industry shows off luxury and opulent wealth to catch your eye. But if the coach is ONLY ever saying things like "buy my program to live like me" or "sign on with me and make lots of money" or anything that is solely along the lines of give money, get money, they're missing a HUGE part of the process.
You're not just getting money when you start a coaching relationship. You're getting an entire new way of existence. They way you see yourself. The way you show up. They way you live and vibrate in the world.
And telling you ONLY the money side is a disservice. A) because it's disregarding a huge part of the process and actually the most valuable part and B) because they probably aren't even practicing that part in their business. So the moment you hand over your cash, you're on your own.
Hiding behind the money is a form of soul malpractice. You want to enter relationships where communication is open and you fully know what you're getting into and fully receive it.
Five (not mentioned in video) | They Use Contracts to Protect Money and Not People
Contracts are a form of protective energy. They’re there to lay down a strong foundation in the coaching relationship, set boundaries, and come to an agreement on expectations for both parties.
They are NOT weapons to use against clients to put profit over people.
As your coach, it’s my sole purpose to be of service. And if I’m not doing that, I’m not going to use our contract against you as a power move or a way to put money above your experience. You are not just dollar signs to me. You’re a human being who deserves the most faith, service, and love.
If you’re looking to work with a coach, ask them how they believe contracts serve their business. And if your gut (and soul) don’t get a good vibe from their response, even if you can’t logically explain why, know that there’s a HELL YES coaching relationship out there for you.
You deserve to be celebrated, honored, and cherished. Only accept people into your life who view you that way.
Your biggest fan,