How to Kick Your Limiting Beliefs to the Curb and Rise to the Next Level
Ok, I know that it feels like you’ve been doing “all the right things. Yet, the results are lack luster. I know that you’re ready AF for the next level. But it just seems like you can’t tip the scale.
And yes, you’re hungry to be brave and claim the next level as your own. You’re ready to release the BS - the stories, the patterns, the old ways of being that no longer serve you - even if it terrifies you.
But it’s just not happening. Why? Because no matter how much you may want something and tell yourself that you’re ready, if your subconscious mind isn’t on board, you’re not going anywhere.
If your subconscious doesn’t think that it’s safe for you to go big, to receive at the levels you desire, to be seen in the capacity that you crave, it’s going to keep you exactly where you are.
Today, we’re going to get cozy with our subconscious mind and belief systems. I invite you to get intimate with the way you belief the world works (what do you have to do to become successful? Who do you have to be? Have to show up as?). Then to challenge those beliefs and ultimately release the ones that are no longer serving you.
You can also watch the Facebook Live video where I discuss this exact material if you prefer to watch/listen over read.
Getting Down n’ Dirty with Subconscious
We’re constantly absorbing, learning, making judgments, and processing our experience. Our belief systems are the results of years of living on planet Earth. Passed on from family, society, creating as a coping mechanism in times of trauma, and more, we continue to receive evidence of our belief systems.
For example, if your parents constantly told to not shine too brightly because you’ll make others jealous, you’ll probably struggle with visibility issues. No matter how many quality posts you put out on Instagram and expert hashtags that you use, your follower count hovers in the same spot because your subconscious says that’s where it’s safe to be.
There are three layers of “mind” that I work on with my clients - conscious, subconscious, and soul. We are spiritual beings (souls) in human bodies. And it’s the wiring of the human brain that creates the conscious and subconscious minds.
Our soul always knows. It is our spiritual essence and the truth of who we are. The soul exists in the present moment, can transcend space and time, and is always aligned.
The conscious and subconscious minds are a result of the human brain. The brain develops thoughts, experiences feelings, and creates our belief systems. Your conscious mind is the piece of you that’s thinking right now. That’s saying “hmmm, this blog post is interesting” (I hope) or “ok, I’m following along. But totally getting it yet, Melanie” (that’s ok, we’re just getting started). Your conscious mind generates thoughts and opinions. Like wondering about your grocery list or if you put the laundry in the dryer.
Your subconscious mind stores your belief systems. It’s the part of your brain that has taken in information over the years and shaped your fundamental beliefs and perspectives on how the world works.
Ex. I must work hard to make money or money flows to me with ease. Money doesn’t grow on trees or money is everywhere.
The subconscious mind is incredibly powerful. If you’ve been hustling and trying all the things saying “I’m ready, ready, ready, but why can’t I leap to the next level?”, it’s usually because your subconscious mind isn’t on board.
Because at the end of the day, no matter how much your conscious mind says “bring on the next level”, if your subconscious doesn’t believe that it’s safe for you do so, that you don’t deserve it, that you’ll be attacked, that you’ll no longer receive love, or any other variety of beliefs, then you’re staying where you’re out as a protective mechanism.
Like when in a romantic movie, all the main character wants is true love. But when they start to receive love, they flip their shit. They come up with all the reasons the other person sucks. Or they don’t show up for the date. They do all this random stuff that doesn’t seem to make any sense and isn’t in alignment with their desires.
But it’s because it’s their subconscious mind telling them in order to be loved, you must be seen. And if you’re seen fully, you’ll be rejected. Being vulnerable isn’t safe. You aren’t worthy of love. Etc, etc, etc.
Moral of the story? You can only receive your desires if your subconscious mind is on board.
So how you do go about transforming your subconscious to be wealth positive, to love being visible, to choose love over loneliness?
STEP 1 | Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
You can’t go out and affirm that “money loves me” and “I make money every day” if your subconscious truly believes that you’re broke and it’s actually safer for you to be broke than be rich.
Affirmations mean that you’re affirming your truth. And if the affirmations aren’t your truth, they’re not going to do anything for you. (More on using affirmations in a way that WORKS in a bit).
So, step one is to identify what those limiting beliefs are that are you keeping you here in the first place.
The most important thing to remember is to do this from a place of love and self-compassion. Otherwise, you’ll develop a pursuer-retreater relationship (same happens with your fears). You’ll try to hunt them down so you can chop their head off. Then they’ll burrow even deeper. Or you’ll be avoiding them, pretending they don’t exist. And they’re going to scream louder and louder.
Always come from a place of love and not fear. In life. As a whole.
Stream of conscious journaling is one of the easiest ways to bring your subconscious beliefs to your conscious minds. It’s easy, free, and you don’t need any external guidance.
The Rules: Spend 15 minutes on a single journal prompt (or just writing whatever first comes to mind) without lifting pen from paper. Even if you’re writing “I don’t know what’s happening, but Melanie told me to keep writing.” And be completely honest with yourself. Write down the good, the bad, and the ugly. Anything that comes to your mind goes onto paper.
Common money mindset prompts that I love to recommend to friends, clients, and anyone who wants to improve/expand their money mindset:
➳ If money and I were in a relationship, how would I describe it? Write like money is a person.
➳ Money is…
➳ If I were to receive the wealth that I desire (maybe even write your monthly/annual goal here), I’m afraid that _______ would happen. Be REAL honest. And if you’re telling yourself “but I wouldn’t have any problems if I made money,” GO DEEPER.
Spend 15 minutes per prompt writing and writing and writing. Maybe do one a day for the next three days (and tweak these based on what you desire. You can sub money for visibility, a dream partner, or anything else that you desire).
I promise you, you will see why it’s been so f*cking hard to make money.
Personally, I realized how terrible my relationship with money was. I believed that money sucked, that money wasn’t there for me, that I had to pour my blood, sweat, and tears into earning money. That if I received money, I would be vulnerable.
Ultimately, it usually comes down to safety on some level. If you believe that it’s not safe for you to receive money in the amounts that you desire (you’ll mismange it, people will use you, you’ll be rejected, etc) then your subconscious mind is going to do EVERYTHING to keep you receiving in the safety zone.
Because really, that’s it’s job. To take in information, process it, and create judgments on what will and what won’t keep us safe. These beliefs were passed down from family, society, culture. We develop them as a protective and coping mechanism.
But we haven’t asked ourselves, is any of this shit even true?
STEP 2 | Decide to Change
We live in an abundant and expansive universe. Being in a scarcity mindset is like looking out at the world through a pinhole. Just because you allow yourself to perceive that things are a certain way, doesn’t mean that it’s Truth.
There are people out there who are in the types of relationships that you desire. People who are being seen in the ways that you desire. People who are receiving money in the ways that you desire.
And there’s nothing different between them and you in terms of composition. We’re all equally human. We’re all made of the same stardust. We are all magic and miracles in human form - an extension of the Divine (God, the Universe, Source, etc).
What’s different between you and the people who are receiving in the ways you want is a matter of permission. These abundant bosses, light leaders, visionaries, and change makers. We’ve given ourselves permission to go for it and committed to life of consciously and intentionally undo-ing the programming that we’ve learned from a scarcity based society.
Which is incredibly empowering because you can do exactly the same.
It’s not your fault that society and your family programmed you with scarcity beliefs. At the end of the day, they’re trying to protect you by passing on “how the world works”. But it is your responsibility if you choose to continue living in accordance with them.
Step 3 | Reprogram Your Subconscious
The REAL work that’s going to tip the scale for you isn’t about following Bob’s “3 Step Marketing Plan to a Perfect Launch” or posting at the right times or getting the right number of followers.
It’s about changing what you believe about yourself and the world. That’s the REAL work - the inner work.
So how do you reprogram your subconscious mind? By learning how to communicate with it.
The subconscious mind has no capacity for language. So you can talk to yourself all day, but you’re only accessing your conscious mind.
Your subconscious mind does communicate via strong imagery, strong emotion, and embodiment.
I mentioned earlier that we would dive into affirmations and how to use them in a way that works. It’s about communicating to your subconscious mind.
This is the exact work that I do with my clients during our intake session (just on a more personal, deeper level based on what I know they want to work on).
➳ Step 1: Pick your growth edges. What areas of your mind do you want to shift and expand? Maximum 3 growth edges. Let’s use money as an example.
➳ Step 2: Select 3 affirmations per growth edge that deeply resonate with you. Ex. Money flows to me with ease in fun and unexpected ways. Or whatever really lights you up and gets your ears perked.
➳ Step 3: Say these daily while engaging in strong imagery (what does it look like for money to rush into your bank account with ease? Imagine getting those notifications that you made yet another sale when you wake up or sitting on the couch. More importantly, engage with strong emotion. What does it FEEL LIKE for that to happen? And lastly, move your body in a way that feels good and shows that you’re safe. Dance, breathe deeply, raise your arms in the air with wide openness.
➳ Step 4: Do this every day. Seriously. Every day. No matter how dumb you feel. No matter if you wake up cranky. Do it every day. And bonus points if you attach it to a gratitude practice (extra extra credit being grateful for what hasn’t yet manifested in your life but you fully know will) and writing down evidence that you experienced that day that PROVES your affirmations. Focus on the what proves your beliefs. You’ll attract more of it.
THIS is the difference between affirmations that have the power to radically change your life and saying random crap that makes you want to gag. You have to access subconscious.
Your mind and body are incredibly powerful tools. And like any tool, they can be used to move mountains, keep you stuck, or destroy your life. But if you learn how to fully embrace, embody and life out new belief systems you can do anything that you put your mind to.
You have everything that you need to move mountains, to make magic, to give and receive at the levels and in the ways that you desire. It’s not about figuring out how to or making it happen
But re-remembering who you are and re-accessing your expansive and limitless potential. Here’s to changing the world, friend! Go shake up your mind and break free.